Dear Joel Cosgrove
Please stop working for the Workers Party, they’re no good. They’re all about sad stuff. We all know that your true affiliation lies with the DAFT Party of NZ. That comical beard, all those witty things you say in your Presidents column in Salient each week, those t-shirts you wear at inappropriate times. The helmets, sailors hats, right down to the way you talk… you’re exactly what we’re looking for in a candidate! We’ll make you smile, and people will realise when you play silly pranks for ineffectual reasons that you’re just DAFT!
Please please reconsider your political leanings
The DAFT Party Plank