Native New Zealand Now

Today the yet to be named Silly Party of New Zealand has released a new policy on native and or endangered animals.

We will make owning cats, dogs, rats, noxious introduced beasties illegal and we will put a Kiwi or a Tuatara, or other such endangered native animal into every home.

Kiwi
Fig #7.9: The lesser spotted Giant Kiwi
may be hard to fit through the old cat flap.

We also run a parrallel policy for the reduction of introduced pests. We’ll open Pest Eradication Teepee’s (PETs for short) and people can bring in nasties and recieve a bounty. $5 for every pidgeon, $15 for every possum,$100 for every wild deer, $300000 for every Bengal Tiger.

 

PETS
Fig #34: The ques outside a Pest Eradication
Teepee grow as the the word spreads about
the YtbNNZSP Native NZ Now policy.

 The benefits of this policy will be amazing. Not only will we rid our foot paths of dog shit, our tin rooves of possums, and our emo’s rooms of rats, but we will bring back many speciese from the brink of extinction. Also this move to irradicate all non essential animals will have the added effect of saving owners money. Worms and grass hoppers are cheaper than tins of cat food, and dog buscuits. Also having a kiwi as a pet would be a perfect way for NZ to cement some sort of national pride.

 Also average Jo(e) would be able to make some money off the initial period of culling. Lets face it I could reach out the window of my Cuba mall apartment and grab at least 5 pigeons. A YtbNNZSP government could also profit on this buy then off selling the meat to Satay Kingdom and on overseas markets, perhaps even give surplus meat to the UN to distribute as it sees fit.

 ****************************************

The Bidding on the Party name is going well. Two days in and we’re up to $20, i’m hoping for at least $30 so we can can take out a classified ad in the Taranaki Daily News:

ADULT ENTERTAINMENT
Slim Busty woman wants you to vote for the Yet to be Named New Zealand Silly Party. Call 027 CUSTARD for a good time. Or visit http://www.kiwislog.wordpress.com to check out our rates. In calls and out calls. Discrete, fun, availiable now.

 

As always drop us a line at nzsillypartyinthemaking@gmail.com or by courier pigeon (soon to be illegal, so make the most out of it while you can).

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2 Responses to “Native New Zealand Now”

  1. Gem is truly outrageous, truly, truly, truly outrageous Says:

    Can we sell them to each other? Or build a house where they can all live?

  2. DAFT Says:

    I think you’re missing the point Gem…

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